She has to have wit

Among the requisite characteristics that I look for in a woman there is a quality so understated but ever so necessary and that is wit.

Grace, dignity, charm and beauty she must have but wit is that quality that makes me smile and with that smile I'm saying, "Aha! She gets it!" See, wit is different from sarcasm which is often brash and reactive. Wit is contemplative, informed, nonchalant, understated and is best dispensed with a sly smile and a raised eyebrow.

Wit and banter go hand in hand. If she can entertain banter and sprinkle in a tease of wit here and there, while revealing herself through conversation, she is most likely a keeper. Or if nothing else, a great conversationalist.

I'm not sure if wit is a forethought, afterthought, is intentional or unintentional. But one thing I do know is that when I see it, I recognize it.

Wit is never heavily doused but dispensed in potent metered doses.

-WAC, III-

America: Land of the Free, Home of the...Behind?

So after my first night in Paris, I've come to a realization (of which I've had inklings much prior to now): us Americans (United States) are far behind any of our peers worldwide in languages learned. Everyone in Paris it seems is fluent or at least has an operational command of a minimum of one language other than their native French. We seem to be the only nation who does not require its inhabitants to learn another language other than English from an early age. This deficit has left me feeling very unintelligent, and quite ashamed.

I am convinced that the United States needs to mandate that children learn at least one other language, starting in elementary school, at the latest. The world is becoming increasingly smaller, and it only makes sense that we as Americans know other languages. I, for one, will make sure that my children speak another language fluently before they begin grade school. Until America makes changes to education to reflect this need, I believe you should too.

-JMC-

Ever the optimist

The blessing about life that we often miss is that as long as you're alive life goes on. You live to see another day and perhaps that day can be better than your previous days. It behooves us to live life one day at a time for we know not what tomorrow may bring.

This truth can become clouded after a bad break up, divorce, loss, or termination from a job. The same optimism that you once had when you were with your significant other or on that job interview is the same optimism that you must strive to get back to and getting there is a process. It takes a certain optimism to move forward in spite of your current circumstances. There are other times when optimism is not about moving forward but staying right where you are knowing with certainty that things will improve.

By no means am I talking about a blind optimism. If anything, I want to present an optimism that is tangibly grounded in reality. One of the ways that I conceptualize my optimism is through assessment. I first ask myself if what I am trying to accomplish is even feasible. If Z is possible then I will start at A. What optimism doesn't overlook is the fact that there are the risks associated with traversing from A to Z. Rather it takes into account those risks and asks whether or not those risks are enough to keep one from reaching Z.

In my life there were times when I thought that situations would not improve but I had to know that they would. Thinking and knowing of course are two different things. Thinking speaks to the temporal, fleeting synapses of the brain but knowing speaks to the deep seeded composition of truth that is foundational to the life of the mind. I'm thankful that I was able to coalesce my thoughts around what I knew to produce an optimism that lifted me out of dark times.

A scripture that is the basis for my optimism is Romans 8:28:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

I love the certainty with which the Apostle Paul speaks to the Church at Rome. At this time Rome was a thriving metropolis and was pretty much the seat of the world. Can you imagine the things that occurred in this bustling city where Christians (the ridiculed, despised new religion of that time) were thrown in jail or the lion's den for the entertainment of the masses? Or consider Paul, who at this point had been beaten, jailed, run out of town a couple of times, and shipwrecked. Yet and still under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit he gives us certainty in knowing that all things work together for the good. Not some things or things that seem pleasing or positive but all things. Even our sufferings, hurts, and despair is at work for the good that God has seen fit.

Take refuge in knowing that all things work together for the pleasure of God's will. O for grace that we may comprehend the purpose of what God allows in our lives for His will and the optimism to press forward in spite of that which we have not yet readily comprehended.

-WAC, III-

That's what Christmas means to me...

I woke up early this morning, thoughts swirling in my head. These thoughts, however, were not the typical befuddled thoughts of most ante meridiem contemplations - rather, they were moving with purpose and clarity: today is Christmas morning. These thoughts that formed a perfect maelstrom of images and concepts were the culmination of the previous day, Christmas Eve. Throughout Christmas Eve I was engaged with my family in some of our traditional activities. We sat around most of the day, doing nothing - last minute present wrapping and talking about whatever. Towards the early evening we all packed into our cars and headed off to our church, to pick up food we were going to deliver to families in need. After we dropped the food off and prayed with the families, we left to go to Christmas Eve service. where we sang songs and heard the message of the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ. After church, we headed home, where my Dad helped my 3 year old nephew bake cookies (which he unsurprisingly messed up in the cutest way), and his mother (my sister) helped him write a letter, which he would leave for Santa. We then watched our Christmas movies - A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and (after we put my nephew to sleep), Scrooged. Around midnight, everyone said their goodnights, and headed to bed for the night.

We've done some version of this as long as I can remember, and it is always a very happy time for me. This year, however, was tinged with sadness, but the sadness was not my own. One of my friends was spending Christmas with our family this year, because her work schedule would not allow her to be with her family. As she spent Christmas Eve with us and our traditions, it became very evident that she was sad to be away from her family. In light of her sadness, I tried to imagine what it would be like to spend Christmas away from my own family, and was immediately overcome with emotion. In the midst of this contemplation, I realized that for me, Christmas isn't about the traditions that I've enjoyed so much over the years. It isn't about the joy I get from giving gifts to my family and friends, or the service I do for those in need. Christmas is about the family I spend the time with, the individuals I love and who love me so much, that make it all special. That is the greatest gift God could have given me in this lifetime. Despite whatever else might be going on in my life, I always have my family to depend upon and call on.

In this season of giving and receiving, of bright lights and festive music, I am called to remember MY true meaning of Christmas - Family. I thank God for the blessing of family, and pray that I never take them for granted.

Merry Christmas!

There are many songs that speak to the joys of family. Here is one I like right now, done by Driis (Idris Elba), a surprisingly good artist: Family.

Love Is...

Love is...
Alive when it is giving;
Dying when it is exchanging; and
Dead when it is taking.

-JMC-

Floss

Floss-

Floss embodies the history and appreciation of time honored tradition, regiment, and form with a forward nod to improvisation, personal style, and taste.

Floss is a term used to describe wearing something such as a suit, sneakers, or or an outfit that is pretty darn dope. Floss is the cousin of and synonymous with terms like: stunteang (thats pronounced stunt-teeeeng), goin off, splash, fresh, etc.

But floss is more personal than those generic terms because floss speaks more directly to the individual essence of that particular person. For example, I had a home boy that used to hit the masses over the head with the bow tie. That was bow tie floss. Another home girl used to hit them in the head with the 'Lo life (Polo Ralph Lauren), in other words she used to be flossy in the 'Lo.

What is it that you floss? How do you floss?

My current floss is an amalgmation of sorts.Different knink knacks that inspire me: pocket squares, socks, knit ties. Little things that help am outfit to stand out but are easily subdued.

-WAC, III-

A dope track

Every so often I get a chance to listen to music. Good music. Quality music. You know the kind that you find yourself wishing you could play when something fantastic is happening. Yeh that music.

The perfect beat of 2010

Hey man. I aint gone lie.That new Yeezy bangs. I don't really write, rhyme, or freestyle but man......within the first three seconds of the beat dropping I just feel like I've got to jump on the track and say something, anything, whatever.

So the question is.........................

If you had the perfect beat what would you say?

-WAC, III-

Tailor Made

Fashion is a term that's thrown around like a hot potato. The validation of the transient whims of such a term are propagated by the blogosphere, magazines, and ads telling you what's in and what's out. O, but then there is style.... Style encompasses a few things, in no particular order mainly: inspiration, innovation, and state of mind followed by a healthy dose of nonchalance. Your style says a lot about how you choose to present yourself to society. I wrestled with how I would describe my style. Aptly put my style is best characterized as "intentional and appropriate". Boring, huh? Were you looking for something such as "modern gentleman", "hipster", "vintage" or "new wave"? Admittedly, I'm not the most trendiest person but I do pick up inspiration from current trends. Not every trend fits into my personal style which overall , is more important to me than current trends and fads.

I try to maintain a style that is by no means affectated. Yes that sounds oximoronic but there is a certain art to wearing well put together clothes as if you're not trying. Its the same virtue as learning to play Fur Elise and then playing Fur Elise for an audience while enjoying it.

Here are some pictures from a friend's law school graduation from this past spring. What I want to draw your attention to is the selection, fit, and  relative ease with which the clothes are worn.

I remember when I first started wearing suits. They were a far cry from what you see in these pictures! They used to be the eight button, hottest new color, "NBA special" variety. That was before I knew anything about cut, fabric choice, button stance, or the difference between a peak and notch lapel. But times have changed and as a result my style has matured. What you see in these pictures is a Made to Measure charcoal, single breasted, two button, notch lapel, side vented suit from clothier Tom James. I like suits because there is a certain air of distinction that makes one feel regal that comes along with wearing them.

One thing to remember about style is that it doesn't have to be profound or abstract but at all times it has to represent YOU. Things to keep in mind in selecting clothes that suit you are: cut, size, proportion, color, price, and quality. I admit, dressing well doesn't happpen all at once. Its a process of trial and error by way of discovery that builds familiarity.

Its ok to be polished just as long as the polish doesn't outshine you but enhances you.

-WAC, III-

An ode to living

What do you want from me? Yeh, I'm talking to you life. What do you want from me? My time? My well thought out plans? My energy? My money? My fears? My dissonance? My joys? My disappointments? My successes? My failures? Anything else that you want?

Well here's what I want from you: Everything that you have for me.

Here's what I expect from you: The best.

Here's what I'm going to give you: Me.

-WAC, III-

The newness

A usual conversation with a good friend of mine produced some very insightful thoughts regarding relationships. Here's what she had to say:

"You can tell when a relationship is special because you are always excited by and about that person. Even if you have known them for a while there are always things about them that impress you, fascinate you, things that you simply look forward to. Everyday with them is something refreshing. Getting to know them never gets old."

Do you remember the innocence we had about relationships in middle school? You know, where you had to get a girls number by pen and paper. The same innocence where you were anxious to call her (but you couldn't do so for three days), nervous when she picked up, and excited if and when she called you back. Remember that? I do. As a man, I'm looking for someone who I can be that innocent with because it was that innocence that kept me on my toes. I'm looking for that lady that can unassumingly make my day. Not in some performed, perfunctory, or ostentatious manner but in a manner in which she's taken the time to listen to me, absorb the subtilties of my person, and is comfortable enough with herself to present me with her interpretation of such.

There's a dance between intrigue, excitement, and mystery and this dance has to incorporate all three equally else disinterest knocks at the door.

I'm looking for that newness that if in a relationship things happen to get stale, I can retreat to that newness and reminisce for a while until I can figure out how to make the situation less complex and more innocent.

-WAC, III-

The Path of Most Resistance

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

 During a conversation at lunch today with my mother, an educated and spiritual woman, I found myself engaged in what has become a regular topic of discussion between her and me – my future. I was bringing her up to speed on where I thought my life was taking me, career-wise. After I informed her of the latest of my intentions for the next few years, I recounted a recurring vision I’d been having regarding what I thought I should be doing. For a few months now I’ve felt as though I was standing at a point of decision – facing two roads which lead off in two different directions. One road leads to a good life: success by anyone’s standards, happiness and prosperity, doing meaningful work, but just that – good. The other road leads into something a bit mistier, much less clear or defined – but within the shadows I see glimpses of greatness untold, a life where I not only have the desires of my heart, but also get a chance daily to affect real change in the world, and have a positive impact on countless lives. One road is full of relative ease and comfort, and is predictably simple; the other is riddled with hard work and uncertainty, but the possibilities are endless.

Being the individual that I am, I of course needed no pause whatsoever to determine which way I would choose. I have never been one to accept mediocrity; it’s excellence or nothing for me. But it has given me time to consider the ramifications of the decisions we make, and the faith we must exercise when choosing. Often the best decisions we can make in life are those which cause us the most pause, where the outcome is least defined. We must believe in ourselves at all costs, and in the Higher Power we recognize in our lives. As my mother the minister put it: God is never the author of the most comfortable and easiest path. We are meant to struggle, to put forth effort, in order that we might reap the true benefits of our work. And as evidenced by this Robert Frost poem, often that means taking the past of most resistance, the road less traveled. For it along this path we see who we truly are, what we are truly made of – and in the end, what we can truly become.

-JMC-

Short thoughts with long term implications

There is knowledge--->intellectual refinement--->Application--->WISDOM

• The dignity of discipline and the decency of character.
• Hubris versus Humility
• Sensation versus Substance
• Intentionality in communication so as to obtain desired result.

-WAC, III-

Tough as nails

    Yesterday morning I took my grandpa to the doctors for his routine dialysis appointment. On the way there, he asked me to stop by McDonald's to have his usual order before his appointment. His order consisted of a number three and a strawberry milkshake. Yup. A strawberry milkshake at approximately 9:27 a.m. Not an orange juice, sprite, coke, or ginger ale but a strawberry milkshake. Now I wasn't as taken aback as I would have been had not my father prepped me before I left the house. However I was still somewhat surprised, yet all the more perplexed, but found humor in the combination of this order. I began to think about his order and the possible rationale behind his order in the context and observations that I have made about my grand father.

    Some would classify my grand father as stubborn and set in his ways. And to an extent I agree. But in widening the scope of my purview, I see that my grandfather has had a mental fortitude about him that has garnered him the right to order his '9:27a.m. milkshake' on a Monday as opposed to my 8a.m. coffee. When I say my grandpa is from the 'old-school', he's really from the old school. Not that pseudo romanced cliche' of a term 'old-school' but the kind that evokes images of long wooden plank barely sanded benches, dusty floors, and a chalk board in dire need of washing. Now I wouldn't say that my grandpa is the most educated or learned man but Wilmon A. Christian, Sr. has pretty much always known what he's wanted, what it takes to accomplish what he wants, and how to put together that which he wants. Wilmon Sr. knew that he didn't just want to have a family but wanted to start a clan so he married my grandmother, had six children, and provided land for each of those children. He also knew that he liked music but buying a radio was far too simple for him rather he opted to teach himself how to make music; strumming away at his guitar when he got the chance.

    When I was born, he was going through this phase of building. Building any and everything, whatever he wanted on his land. If in his mind there was a necessity or desire to build something, it got built. Things such as massive tool sheds, garages, and structures that were incomprehensible sprang up all over his land. These seemingly unfinished, odd, and archaic structures were the adventuresome playgrounds of little kids like myself but to him they were the actualization of ingenuity.

    Now to some, the way I have described this man he would seem to be a pragmatist. But he was more than that. Yes, pragmatic in the sense that if he had enough space and a need for something to be built then it was. But a mental fortitude in that he outright owned his ideas and creations, endured ridicule for what he created, stood by what he created even if no one else did but himself, and was able to bring to fruition that which he saw in his mind's eye.

    As a young man I value this type of ability that my grandpa possessed. My hope is that I will develop the mental fortitude to be bold and to know what it is that I want, the mental tenacity to endure ridicule, criticism, and the process of intellectual development, and the mental dexterity to have an open mind and to be able to think on multiple planes.

    Yeh, my grandpa or 'Pa-Pa' as he is called is tough as nails. He used to bathe in bleach after laying cement for construction, has had a tree fall on him, he's a heart attack survivor, a widower, a guitar player, a builder, a father, a grand father, has had numerous other experiences and is many other things. I believe the hardest part for him now is not being able to readily express his thoughts with clarity and be understood. For that old nail of a man, his point may be a little dull but every now and again I catch glimpses of his mental fortitude that speaks to his character.

 -WAC, III-