Paradigm Shifter

Getting over someone after a break up is never easy. There's no prescriptive method on how to do so. For a long while there existed this paradigm in my mind. This paradigm was this multi-faceted construct of everything I thought the she in my life should be. And I thought what I needed to get over someone was what I call a 'paradigm shifter'. That is someone who would come along and change my thinking on how I look at women, what I expected of them, and who would eradicate the standard of someone else that I was holding them to. But I was wrong.

It was me who had shift my own paradigm. I had to break the mold. And now I have to reconceptualize the standard. In my previous thinking about searching for a paradigm shifter, I was giving too much power away. I was expecting someone to do for me what I could have done for myself all along. I had to really sit down with myself and truly think through what it is that I want in someone, what it is that I expect, and define for myself what is my standard. I had to stop worrying about the 'what ifs' of the past and start focusing on the 'what will be' or 'who will be's' of the future. In doing so I gained more control. A greater control over what I expect to give and receive. But to get there wasn't easy and often times we're afraid to break that paradigm because its safe and familiar.

In reflection, we have to thank them for the time they spent with us. We have to appreciate, cherish, and respect the time and memories but we can't remain in 'what if' land. You have to protect your emotions and store them up for that next special person that is destined to come along. And we have to move on. We must move on. There is someone out there who requires so much more of you and to not prepare yourself for them by living in the past is to do them injustice. There's no love lost its just compartmentalized. Compartmentalized as part of my past and bears witness to the capabilities that I posses to be someone's great significant other. The breaking of the paradigm is not to be lamented over for in subscribing to the previous constraints of said paradigm, it by its very nature is severely limiting. If anything we should be inspired, for we are to be expectant to see who and what will be. I'm convinced that the magic isn't in the possibility of getting back together, it now exists in the possibility of what is to come.

-WAC, III-