What is 'it'?

When dating a female, guys give one particular answer as to why they chose not to continue the relationship:

'She just didn't have it.'

The it is that certain 'je ne sais quoi' factor that we're looking to describe or fill in. The it is that substantive umph (for lack of a better word) that a man can really sink his teeth into. To put it aptly, it's the difference in pandering for candy or indulging in the rich complexities of a well prepared meal.

But ask seven different guys what it is and you're going to get seven different answers. I've been guilty of saying a female didn't have it and although I knew what it meant, it was hard to express. So what is it? I think it for me is simple. It is an ideal that's described as having depth of substance, confidence of character, and security in self that radiates from her that makes me want to involve myself with her not just on a superficial level but on an emotional level. It is when a woman ignites a passion in a man for him to get to really know and care about her beyond her beauty.

 Keep in mind that this description is not comprehensive nor is it a prescription to go from ain't to it.

I've often been able to tell if she had it by the way she walked. I don't know how but I just knew. I believe that a female knows if she has it. Matter of fact, I like females who walk in their it. Not in a way that is ostentatious, over-stated, or beyond them but more demure like. Increasingly, I've found myself more attracted to the way a woman carries herself; the details of her personality, style (not just clothes but the way shes does everything), and sense of humor. Its the interplay between these that make it it. I think this plays a significant role in whether it is there or is not.

Such thoughts have led me to ponder if whether or not it is progressive, relative, or requisite. I don't think one can go out looking for it. It hits you smack in the face. Like walking into a glass door that you didn't realize was there. But when you get hit, slightly startled you take a step back, smile, chuckle, and realize it was there all along.

Yeah that's it.

-WAC, III-